Heartbeats and Secrets
by AlexBeoulve
Summary: The day to day struggles of Sebastian and Ciel stupiding their way through a relationship, post season 2.
1. For the Birds

**Disclaimer: Kuro belongs to Yana Toboso.**

**For the Birds**

Sebastian bit down on his bottom lip, trying to keep from smiling at the little ball of black fluff perched on his finger.

He wasn't doing a very good job.

Ever since his master had been turned into a demon, the once Earl hadn't quite gotten the hang of shape shifting. Demon's could take the form of anything they liked, though the first thing they usually learned was an animal form. Sebastian had always favored crows, so his master had been attempting to do the same.

But just as his master was a "baby" demon, he always accidentally turned into a baby crow.

"You've just got to concentrate more," Sebastian said seriously, well, as seriously as he could be while addressing a tiny, little, fluffy-wuffy, _adorable_-

The demon bird ruffled his soft down feathers irritably, conveying with his bird glare that he _had _been concentrating. The elder demon scratched under his master's bitty beak.

"There, there, you can try again," he comforted. "Just change back into your human form and we'll start over."

His bird master shifted from one teensy claw to the other, averting his gaze away.

"... You can't change back can you?"

My but whatever was on that wall over there must be _so _interesting because his master could not tear his eyes from it.

All demons had magic, but knowing how to allocate it was a bit tricky. For example, it didn't actually take that much magic to turn into an animal, but if you didn't know the proper amount you _could _use it all up in the one spell. Well, better that than his master not using enough magic and having crow feet on a human body or something similar.

"I suppose we'll wait till you've gotten some energy back," he chuckled, earning a crow glower even though he'd managed not to laugh this whole time. Sebastian lifted his hand, giving the small bird demon a kiss on top of his fluffy head, then setting him on his shoulder.

"Well, at least I won't have to make dinner, I can just dig up some worms in the yard- ow. Really now, pulling hair?"

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_a/n: no excuses to give_


	2. For the Birds: Part 2

**Disclaimer: Kuro belongs to Yana Toboso!**

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**For the Birds: Part**** 2**

_1922_

"It was an accident -"

Too late.

Sharp little demon claws drew blood from Sebastian's outstretched fingers. He brought the wounded digits up to his mouth reflexively, frowning down at his master ... who was currently in the form of a kitten.

His master had still not managed to change into an adult crow, after weeks of trying, even with Sebastian's help. They had been practicing over and over, depleting all of his master's magic and most of Sebastian's in the process.

But after what felt like the hundredth try, the older demon had accidentally let his mind wander, not focusing solely on a glossy black bird as he should have been, and now instead of a baby crow ... an _adorable_ kitten sat on his lap.

Upon realizing his current condition, his master had hissed, then lashed out, and now Sebastian was sucking on his finger, trying very hard to stay calm.

_Because ... I mean ... really ... he's a ... he's a kitty _...

_No. No. Nononono. Calm_.

His kitten master growled lowly, his ears bent back, and his tail twitching irritably. His expression was one of murder, which, as the cutest animal in the entire _world_, only came off as even more lovable.

"I suppose ... if you could change back you already would have ... wouldn't you?"

He was answered with another (cutecutecutecute) hiss, the demon kitten's dark fur raised.

"Well in that case," Sebastian sang cheerfully. "Let's cuddle."

His kitten master struggled, scratching at Sebastian's hands as he was picked up. The older demon was too far gone to care though, not even noticing the bite that was dealt to his nose as he rubbed the demon kitten against his face.

"You are soooo precious," Sebastian cooed, giving gentle strokes to the kitten's head down to his tail, all the while nuzzling his master against his face.

In bliss, Sebastian didn't know if he sat petting his kitten master for five minutes or five hours. But at some point the sound of reluctant purring filled the room.

**xox**

Since Ciel had been trying to turn into an adult crow Sebastian had been ... less than gracious at the younger demon's mishaps, and was even the cause of some (like turning Ciel into a cat).

The older demon lectured on and on about properly concentrating and understanding how much magic they had at their disposal. Ciel was perfectly aware of how much magic they both had, it was using it that was the tricky part.

The best way to explain it would be if someone told you to lift a box, but you had no idea what was in it, so you didn't know how much strength it was going to take to lift the box. Ciel knew how much strength _he had_ he just didn't know what was in the box.

Ciel did not object to being lectured on a subject until he mastered it, and was not above taking assistance to help him practice. No, it was how the older demon's eyes seemed to light up, like he was hoping Ciel would get it wrong again, and that little chuckle that Sebastian always seemed to be trying to stifle as he fawned over Ciel as a baby bird.

And despite having all the time in the world to waste away, Ciel, even as a demon, didn't feel inclined to spend it on failing over and over at something. Even if he gave it his best effort, if his tutor wasn't doing the same it was all for naught.

So Sebastian had to be put in his place.

Again.

For like, the millionth time.

**xox**

They sat on the sofa, Sebastian lending his magic when he sensed Ciel was not using enough, and went through several tries at transforming the younger demon into an adult crow. Ciel purposely held back, only consuming tiny bits of his own magic each time, forcing Sebastian to use more and more of his.

"This will have to do it for now, Young Master," Sebastian said, still all smiles from seeing Ciel as a baby bird over and over. "I've used up too much of my own energy."

Ciel nodded, linking their fingers together again. But right when they were going to cast the spell for the last time, he snatched his hand away.

Ciel sat smugly on the sofa, legs propped on the coffee table, and a big black crow perched on one knee.

"Oops," he sang innocently, before giving over to a fit of laughter.

Crow Sebastian rolled his eyes, making a "caw" that sounded like a disgruntled bird sigh.

"I suppose you can't change back, hmm?" Ciel asked, deepening his voice mockingly, so Sebastian could tell he was trying to imitate him.

Bird Sebastian was not amused. Ruffling his feathers, he fixed Ciel with a gaze that said "just wait till I _can_ change back", which only served to make the younger demon laugh more. Sebastian gave a huff (as much as a bird could huff) and turned pointedly away, beak held high, as if saying: "I don't have to put up with this."

"Awh, don't be like that pretty bird," Ciel teased, meaning to sound sweet like when Sebastian made fun (though Ciel wasn't very good at that, coming across a bit cruel). The younger demon stroked his crow companion lovingly, trying to coax him to turn around. "Look, I even got you a treat."

Sebastian glanced back as Ciel produced a pastry bag he'd sat near the sofa and a chocolate covered eclair was presented to him. The crow looked from Ciel to the sweet, then back to Ciel. If birds had eyebrows his would have raised sarcastically, as if saying, "Really, human food?"

"You don't want it?" Ciel smirked, giving crow Sebastian a slow scratch under his beak. The younger demon watched Sebastian study him suspiciously as the bird shook his head "no". Satisfied that his demon still hadn't caught on, Ciel pinched the end of the pastry off, revealing the cream in the middle. "Fine, more for me."

Two small, black nailed fingers dug into the pastry, then exited covered in cream. Ciel put all his energy into maintaining a straight face, bringing his fingers to his mouth (intent bird eyes following them) and slowly licking them clean.

The only part of his plan that he hadn't accounted for was his complete ineptitude at seduction. As soon as his fingers left his mouth Ciel's face went bright red, and he dipped his head trying to avoid looking at Sebastian.

The crow demon gave a bird cackle, realizing what Ciel had been trying to do the whole time.

"Shut up," Ciel grumbled, getting to his feet and sending Sebastian flapping into the air. The younger demon was embarrassed and contemplating herding crow Sebastian out a window until his pride could recover.

A few stray feathers floated past Ciel's face as Sebastian landed on his shoulder, his claws gentle even though they were three times as big and sharp as Ciel's baby bird feet. Sebastian rubbed his glossy feathered head against Ciel's cheek, making a low, contented "caw" sound.

"Stop trying to be cute, by the time you're able to change back you'll have calmed down anyway," Ciel said irritably, throwing the barely marred eclair into the trash can to prove his conviction. Crow Sebastian cawed something into his ear that Ciel knew were supposed to be words. "You know I can't understand you like this yet-"

"I said," came a deep (sultry) voice, the weight on Ciel's shoulder suddenly gone, instead an arm around his waist. "That I recover energy much faster than you~"

Sebastian, now back to normal, brought Ciel's hand up to his smirking lips. The younger demon's blush went several shades darker as Sebastian licked and sucked on the previously cream laden fingers.

And Ciel was (pleasantly) put in his place.

Again.

(And then again on the kitchen counter.)

(And once more on the bed.)

(And then the floor … but really that was the last time … that night anyway.)

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_a/n: bird feels, I have a lot of them_


	3. Teeth

**Disclaimer: Kuro belongs to Yana Toboso!**

**Warnings: Might be a lil' sexier than usual.**

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**Teeth**

**_1923_**

There were decimated pencils scattered all over the floor. Each innocent writing utensil had been chewed nearly all the way through, and once their torturer reached the lead in the center he would abandon them for a new pencil, and the cycle of abuse would start all over again.

Well, that's how it seemed if you were feeling melodramatic.

And Sebastian was feeling melodramatic.

Mainly because he'd bought those pencils for writing with, not _eating_. He wasn't quite sure what he'd planned to write, but having them in case he needed to send a letter, start a journal, or ... well he really hadn't needed them for anything, he wasn't the writing sort, but it was the _principle_ of it.

His master, over the course of a week, had chewed nearly anything small enough to fit in his mouth to bits. Any moment the younger demon spent not gnawing something into pieces he would sulk and fidget, and _God forbid_ you try to talk to him during those times.

It was like living with a ... very cranky little demon.

Actually it wasn't _like_ that, it _was_ that.

He'd think of a better simile later.

For now, he needed to get this constant chewing to stop; their belongings, and Sebastian himself, couldn't take much more.

Oh, yes, he'd forgotten to mention that part, his master was biting Sebastian as well. His neck and shoulders were covered in tiny teeth prints.

_Apparently_ the urge chew on things was so strong that his master couldn't last all the way through sex without trying to _eat him_. And you know what? Sebastian was totally _fine_ with biting, and scratching, and ... well we won't go into it, but it would be fine if the younger demon was just interested in some animalistic sex.

But he wasn't.

When his master would bite down, Sebastian's skin between his teeth, instead of growling/moaning/whimpering (like that last one would ever happen) in pleasure, the younger demon would instead sigh in relief, applying more and more pressure till Sebastian would need to remind him what they were in the middle of.

Pencils rent till they were unrecognizable and his own body being used as a chew toy ... yes, Sebastian was feeling melodramatic and completely justified in his dramatics of the mellow variety.

Yes, he knew that's not what it meant, it meant more dramatic than usual ... you know there are more pressing matters right now.

**xox**

Sebastian had realized from early on that his master's teeth were not of demonic caliber (and good thing that he happened to be so _intimately_ familiar with the inside of his master's mouth, otherwise he might not have noticed at all). Seeing as how his master had been _turned_ into a demon, rather than being _created_ a demon, this was not the only difference Sebastian had noted.

For one, his master still enjoyed food, though he didn't need it to sustain him, and would eat at least once every few days. Secondly, though they weren't quite sure yet if he _needed_ to sleep, his master would usually get tired and sleep through most of the night. Third, his master still sweat and built up dead skin and so needed to take baths (he didn't seem to sweat quite as much though, so didn't bathe every day like he did when he was human). And lastly, he kept his human teeth.

Sebastian had worried on it for a while, forcing his master to continue brushing his teeth each night so they wouldn't rot, and hoping the younger demon never needed to rip someone's jugular out in self defense (though, if you wanted to get technical, you could still probably do that with human teeth, given the proper motivation).

Now that everything in their flat (including Sebastian himself) was being slowly nibbled away though, it was pretty obvious to the older demon what was happening:

His master was teething.

Though he was reasonably sure that was the case, he was completely unsure on how exactly ... that was going to work.

Were his teeth turning into demon teeth?

It didn't seem so, they were only as sharp as human teeth and didn't appear to be changing in any way.

Were demon teeth trying to grow where his human ones were? Like when a human waited too long to pull their baby teeth?

No, they were still straight (a miracle in and of itself) and didn't show any signs of moving like they would if they were being pushed from under his gums.

In a brief moment, where Sebastian managed to dislodge his master from trying to eat him, and actually give the younger demon a proper kiss, he tested the teeth with his tongue, discovering they were actually quite loose. But just as soon as he had ascertained this his master nearly bit his tongue off pulling away.

A very uncharacteristic whine came from the small demon as he covered his own mouth with a hand, as if he was defending it, and he stubbornly refused any more kisses that night.

Sebastian knew what needed to be done now, and as comical as chasing his master around their home and trying to hold him down so he could pull his teeth out _seemed_ ... actually that didn't seem comical at all, that sounded horrible. Regardless, he needed a different plan.

**xox**

Sebastian returned from shopping in the afternoon, he didn't have to keep the kitchen fully stocked since his master didn't actually _need _to eat, but it was best to keep tea, sugar, and a couple of other things in supply. Usually when he bought groceries he'd also get something sweet for the younger demon (his master's cravings for dessert had not stopped since he'd be turned), but today he had something different.

"Did you get anything for me?" the younger demon asked, standing on tippy-toes to look into the bags on the counter, while holding ... _something_ that had been chewed till it was unrecognizable in one hand.

"Mmmhm," Sebastian hummed, presenting the smaller demon with a shiny red apple. He made a disgruntled face at Sebastian, sifting through the groceries himself.

"You didn't get any cakes? Chocolate? Strawberries?"

Sebastian shook his head at each inquiry, dangling the apple by it's stem in front of his master's face.

He huffed. "Why would you get apples when you could get strawberries?"

"I thought maybe you'd like something different."

"When would I _ever_ want an apple instead of a strawberry?" his master demanded, his irritation peeked and he began gnawing on ... whatever it was he was holding again. Sebastian merely shrugged, setting the fruit down on the counter in favor of putting the other groceries away. He heard more agitated grumbling and when he turned around his master had gone back to the living room, taking the apple with him.

Sebastian was expecting to be shouted at soon, running in to find his master holding the apple, a single tooth lodged in it. And then the older demon would act surprised, then nod, saying something like "Ah, I see," and explaining how they needed to pull out the loose teeth so demon teeth would grow in their place. His master would probably protest, but with the irrevocable evidence of how _ready _those teeth were to _be pulled_ (exhibit A, the apple), he would have no choice but to let Sebastian help him with their removal. Then proper demon teeth would grow in and Sebastian would stop getting bit every night. It was all well planned out (as far as a plan to trick someone into letting you pull all their teeth out could be), so Sebastian was honestly startled when instead of a surprised shout, he heard something more akin to a terrified scream.

Had his master reacted that badly to having a tooth come out?

As planned, Sebastian rushed into the living room, trying to work his face into a believable expression of concern, only to have it immediately replaced with an expression of genuine concern.

The apple was still rolling on the floor where his master had dropped it, instead of a single tooth stuck in it there appeared to be something closer to five or six, though it was hard to tell since the fruit was red and the teeth were as well. His master was sitting on the sofa, both hands clamped over his mouth, and covered in blood from his chin down.

The younger demon looked up, eyes wide and scared, and removed his hands long enough to try to choke out Sebastian's name, which ended in blood getting sprayed everywhere. His master gave over to a fit of coughing, red liquid spattering out between his fingers. For all intensive purposes, it appeared that his master was _drowning_ in his own blood.

And maybe if Sebastian had stopped to think about it, how demon's couldn't drown or bleed to death, he wouldn't have panicked like he did.

But he didn't stop to think about it.

He panicked.

Scooping his master up into his arms he ran for the bedroom, leaving a blood trail on the floor, as if someone had been stabbed then dragged away. Nearly breaking the bathroom door off its hinges, he barreled in, bending his master over the tub so he could spit all of the blood out. Looking like a crazed serial killer, Sebastian fumbled with the door on the little closet they kept towels and rags (his hands slippery with his master's blood), snatching at a pristine white wash cloth (red finger prints everywhere). The younger demon was bent over the bath tub, still hacking and spitting, as Sebastian quickly doused the rag in cold water and rushed back to his master's side.

"Here, lean back, I'm going to put this on your gums-" (He might have been two seconds away from punching a hole through the wall in horror at what he'd accidentally done, but he'd be damned if his tone of voice didn't sound as cool as a cucumber).

His master nodded, reclining into Sebastian's arms thankfully, and allowing the wash cloth in his mouth. Sebastian gingerly ran the rag over the teeth that were still there, looking for the bleeding gap caused by the apple.

... There wasn't one.

Frowning, Sebastian tilted his master's head up, examining his mouth ... that wasn't missing a single tooth. The older demon stared in confusion, blood was still staining his master's teeth, proving that ... _something_ had happened.

"Whurt issit?" the younger demon asked (Sebastian's fingers prying his lips open), his face mirroring Sebastian's unease. The older demon shook his head, still frowning, and ran a finger over one of the teeth. The tooth didn't wiggle like it had before, instead it cut right into Sebastian's finger.

"What the hell-?" his master struggled out of his grasp to spit into the tub more (that was another thing very ... undemonly of him, he didn't like the taste of blood).

The younger demon wiped at his mouth with his shirt sleeve, which was one of the most fruitless gestures Sebastian had ever seen. From his lips to his collar his master's skin was tinted pink, the entire front of his (used to be) beige shirt was covered in red splatters ... and here he was trying to wipe his mouth (covered in drying blood) with his shirt sleeve (covered in drying blood).

His master carefully touched the inside of his mouth, then looked up to Sebastian, a bit shocked. "They grew back fast."

"I don't think they grew ... back, I think you've grown new ones," Sebastian stated, indicating his bleeding finger. "Good and proper demon teeth."

"Is that why it bled so much when the old ones came out?" he asked, pricking one of his own fingers experimentally on a new canine.

"I ... _think_ so."

The two were both sitting on the bare tile of the bathroom floor, covered in blood, hair and cloths in disarray, and his master still managed to sit up a little straighter, glare, and demand indignantly, "What do you mean you "think so"? You're a bloody demon aren't you? Shouldn't you know about these things?"

"Yes, but I've _always_ been a demon, I didn't need to grow bits of demon parts as I went, I barely know any more than you do about your ... strange body," Sebastian grumbled, mad at being scolded when he'd gone through so much trouble to think up this plan.

The younger demon shoved his shoulder, growling. "My body isn't strange! It's just not all sharp and ... homicidal like every inch of you!"

"I'm perfectly soft in some places-"

"And you were an angel before you were a demon anyway! Did your angel teeth get stuck in the first human you bit in to or did they get knocked out by another angel when your ass got thrown out of heaven?"

"Oh, I'm soooo sorry, I was a little too busy _being hunted down by actual angels_ to notice what the hell my teeth were doing in four million B.C.-"

"Well don't act like I'm some sort of circus freak if you can't even remember something-"

" 'Can't even remember'? _B.C._ Do you have any possible comprehension how long ago-"

"Don't argue with me, you stupid-"

"I'll argue about whatever I damn well-"

With each verbal assault the two had leaned in closer and closer to each other (oddly, the closer they got the louder they were yelling), till their foreheads were almost touching as they tried to shout over each other.

It was at this point, perhaps tired from screaming (or perhaps because he was a brat), his master grabbed a fist full of Sebastian's hair, giving it a good yank.

Silence echoed over the porcelain in their bathroom as Sebastian stared at the younger demon, not able to believe he was acting so immature ... so Sebastian pulled his master's hair too.

"Ow!"

"It's not fun is it? Getting your hair pulled all the - OW!"

The younger demon had launched himself at Sebastian, both hands tangled in his hair and, as far as Sebastian could tell, _actually_ trying to separate it from his head. He responded in kind, and they both toppled over on the tiles that were smeared with blood and tried to tear each others hair out.

**xox**

"You know ... we're going to have to pull the rest of your human teeth out." Sebastian said, running his hands up his master's two naked thighs.

The older demon was laying mostly nude on the bathroom floor, his and his master's clothes partially ripped apart around them, buttons and zippers not responding fast enough. The younger demon was sitting on his lap, his hands bracing himself on Sebastian's chest, as he was bent over trying to catch his breath.

Somehow, while rolling around in the bathroom trying to kill each other, they had accidentally started having sex instead.

You might be wondering how.

So was Sebastian.

Sebastian gave a small groan as his master lifted himself up and disconnected them. The little demon slumped to the floor beside him, wrapping an arm around his waist, only to make a small disgusted sound in the back of his throat when his arm came in contact with a substance that wasn't blood. He rubbed his arm against Sebastian's (still mostly intact) pants, trying to clean it off, then hugged the older demon around his neck instead.

"Mmm, you're really obsessed with the inside of my mouth, huh?"

Sebastian sighed irritably as he tried to decide if it was worth the effort of trying to remove the stain from his pants or if he should just throw them out. Was the button still there? No it was gone. Maybe he could find it ...

"I'm just tired of getting bitten all the time."

"I thought you liked that ..?" To emphasize his point his master nibbled softly on Sebastian's ear lobe.

He had enough pants. No sense in wasting time looking for buttons or scrubbing stains out like there was some sort of ... pants drought.

"I like it when you aren't using me as a teething ring."

"Picky," the younger demon purred, licking where he'd been biting.

Sebastian regarded him with one raised eyebrow. "You're in a good mood."

"My mouth doesn't hurt as bad," he sighed happily, tasting the older demon's neck now. "I've been so miserable with my teeth hurting ... that was the best sex we've had in weeks."

"You've only been teething for a week ..."

"Hmm, maybe you're just getting better then ..."

"Oooor, maybe you're drunk on all that magic pulsing around from growing your teeth so fast and it's making you aroused ..."

"Mmmm, all I heard was pulsing and growing~"

"... After this I really am going to hold you down and pull your teeth out."

"Hold me down~?"

"Okay, stop it, this is just upsetting."

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_a/n: too sexy for T rating? i worry_


	4. For the Birds: Part 3

**Disclaimer: Kuro belongs to Yana Toboso!**

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**For the Birds: Part 3**

_**1924**_

"No Jon! No! Put it down!"

"It's gotta learn to fly dunnit?"

Between the shops and the flat that Ciel and Sebastian shared there was a little park with swings and a slide that mothers brought their children. Two of these mothers were sitting on a bench a ways off, chatting while their children played near the side walk where a big tree grew. A boy had his arm cocked back, ready to throw something with all his tiny might, while his companion, a little girl, bounced in front of him, grabbing for his hand and trying to prevent him.

"You're gonna hurt it!" she implored tearfully, fist pulling at his shirt sleeve.

"It's a bird, idiot! It'll fly off!" the boy called Jon said angrily, trying to shake his friend off.

And usually their antics would've gone ignored by passer-by's, except this passer-by had much better hearing than normal humans, and could make out the panicked "cheep cheep" coming from Jon's clenched fist. Black nails circled around the boy's wrist painfully, causing him to cry out and drop the little black thing in his hand.

Ciel was fast though, now that he was a demon, and caught the baby bird before it hit the ground. After assuring the little animal was still alive with it's "cheep cheep"-ing, he leveled a sneer at Jon, (and he might have let his eyes turn red, just this once) causing the boy to tear away fearfully towards his mother, the girl close behind, chastising him the whole way.

He made sure that he glared at the children's backs the whole run back to their parents.

Ciel looked down to examine the baby bird. The little crow wasn't fluffy like Ciel had been when he'd accidentally turned into a baby crow, instead he looked thin, like his feathers were sticky. He seemed much younger than the demon had been, stumbling in the palm of Ciel's hand, unable to perch. The young demon had read in a book once that if you touched a baby bird that the parents would abandon it. He bit his lip nervously as he looked around the tree for a nest, hoping that the book had been wrong and he could simply return the nestling.

Upon doing a circle around the tree, he found what looked like a nest, except torn apart, on the ground. Spring had appeared, then vanished over night this year, flowers budding one day, then dying from frost the next. The abrupt changes in temperature had caused several strong rain storms that had blown across the country, and more than likely broken the nest from its branch. Nudging the bits of straw and sticks, Ciel uncovered two dead baby crows underneath, likely killed when their home fell.

But even more upsetting, beside the tree and the nest he discovered several rocks that looked out of place, resembling the stones that lined the sandpit in the middle of the park, no where near here. Ciel ground his teeth in anger, realizing it had been the little boy who'd knocked the nest down, and wishing he'd given the kid a strong backhand.

Ciel craned his neck, trying to peer through the branches and hopefully spot a worried parent bird watching. There was none, and his above human hearing couldn't hear any tell-tale "caws" (worried or otherwise) anywhere near. The baby bird shook, either from fear or cold, in Ciel's hand, it's "cheep"-ing becoming quieter each time. Out of ideas and suddenly fearing for the nestlings health, Ciel gently held it to his chest and ran home.

**xox**

"Darling, I'm hooooome~" Sebastian sang as he walked through the door, wondering if something would get thrown at him for the pet name or if maybe his master was feeling generous and would simply glare. He received neither, as he slid his shoes off by the door. "Young Master? I'm back, I got you a nice trashy romance novel to read. This one has a fellow in a kilt on the cover, but I've never seen a Scotsman with such silky, long, flowing hair before ..."

There was still no answer, but as Sebastian moved from the foyer to the living room he became aware of a repeated "cheep cheep" coming from the sofa. Leaning over the back cushions, Sebastian found a box lined with a towel and several of Sebastian's good handkerchiefs, and in the middle, a baby crow sat crying.

"Well hello there," the demon murmured, stroking the top of it's tiny head with his finger. "At least you're a normal bird, for a moment I thought I was a father and no one had bothered to tell me."

An agitated "caw" came from the window (which Sebastian noticed now was left open), as his master flew in, a wiggling worm in his beak. The baby crow immediately perked up at seeing Sebastian's master as a bird, stumbling in the box to sit next to him. Sebastian covered his mouth with his hand as his shoulder shook from laughter at the sight, earning him that glare he'd been expecting since he walked in. Ignoring him for the most part, his bird master sat the worm down in the box, nudging it at the baby with his beak. Oblivious to his intended meal, the nestling pressed against the demon crow, looking up at him and "cheep cheep"-ing contentedly.

"He can't eat that whole thing, you'll have to chew it up and regurgitate it for him," Sebastian chuckled, laughing even harder when his master physically flinched at the idea. Sebastian plucked the worm from the box. "Oooor, we can just cut it up."

As he moved to the kitchen he heard the sound of flapping wings behind him, then hurried footfalls on the hard wood. His master spat in the sink, turning the faucet on so he could rinse his mouth out.

"I do admire your dedication," the older demon laughed, using a dull knife to chop the worm up into small pieces. "Did you dig this up yourself?"

"Shut up," his master spat (literally), wiping his wet face with the back of his sleeve. "I was afraid if I touched the food with my hands he wouldn't eat it or something, and no, I didn't dig it up-"

Sebastian raised his eyebrows, waiting for him to go on.

"-I ... didn't know how so I just watched for some other bird to find one then I stole it ... I said shut up!"

Sebastian was almost doubled over, laughing so hard his eyes were watering.

**xox**

"It says crows need a high protein diet, that's just meat right?"

"I suppose."

Ciel sat the book they had checked out of the library down in his lap, looking irritably at his demon. "How can you not know this? You've been turning into a crow for how long?"

"I look like a human too but without knowing you I wouldn't be able to tell you what humans ate," Sebastian drawled, smashing pieces of boiled egg up between his fingers to feed to their bird.

Ciel looked at him skeptically. "Isn't that ... like, cannibalism? Feeding him that?"

"It's what the man at the pet shop said to do," Sebastian shrugged. "He said to mash the shell up and feed him that too."

"Hmmm, weird."

A smirk tugged at the edge of his demon's mouth like he was going to say something but thought better of it, instead asking, "Did you give him a name?"

Ciel turned back to the book and responded briskly, "Yes, his name is Mal."

"Mal ...?"

"Malphas. The crow demon. Really, don't you know anything?" Ciel scolded.

Sebastian rolled his eyes, presenting Mal with the egg he'd prepared. "I apologize I'm not versed on _fictional_ demons."

Mal shied away from Sebastian's fingers, pressing himself against the walls of his box and cheeping in distress. The older demon sighed. "You've completely ruined this bird. He's so spoiled he'd rather starve than let me feed him. He only wants his _mommy_."

"Shut it," Ciel growled, trying to gently push Mal towards Sebastian, which only caused him to panic more, clambering around his bed crying louder. Sebastian chuckled behind his hand.

"Duty calls mommy."

Ciel grumbled, setting the book aside and changing into his crow form. Like every time before, the baby bird was calmed by Ciel's presence, snuggling close to him. The young demon crow took the egg from Sebastian's outstretched fingers and passing it to Mal who ate it willingly. They continued the relay until the baby tucked his head under the young demon's wing, full and ready to nap.

As he moved to get out of the nest Mal's head shot up and he began to cry again, trying to follow Ciel.

Ciel looked up to Sebastian who was leaning on one hand, smiling ridiculously at the little display below him. "Looks like you're stuck."

Ciel cawed at him irritably, settling back into the box with Mal, and glad that he was a bird so that he couldn't blush. He turned away from Sebastian, tired of being ridiculed, when he heard a second rustle of feathers.

Crow Sebastian picked at the cloth in their nest, moving it around so he could fit, then cuddling up to the younger demon, Mal between them. Ciel attempted to be aloof as Sebastian rubbed his feathered head again him affectionately, when Mal cheeped imploringly. Sebastian paused, then gave the small bird a nuzzle as well, eliciting a happy chirp from him.

That night Ciel and Sebastian stayed in the shape of crows, nestled close together with their "baby".

**xox**

"How are we going to teach Mal to fly?" his master asked, hands twirling idly through Sebastian's hair.

His master was laid out on their bed, naked, covers bunched around them much like their "nest". Sebastian had been in process of trailing wet kisses from the younger demon's hip up to his neck when his master had asked about the baby bird.

_Always with that damn bird ..._

"I don't know, do you even want to? If he can fly he might get away, then you'll lose your pet," Sebastian replied, forcing a neutral tone as he resumed working with his mouth.

"He's not a pet," his master retorted a bit angrily, tugging Sebastian's hair and separating his mouth from the younger's skin. "He would come back, like at night, since this is his home."

"You're thinking of pigeons," Sebastian said, nipping at his master's arm, causing fingers to release his hair. "A crow won't come back after you let it go."

"But how will he eat if he doesn't come home?" His master asked, only the tiniest hint of worry in his voice. Sebastian tried to ignore the fact that he kept referring to their flat as the bird's "home", and flopped down next to his master, defeated by Mal again in the constant war over the younger demon's attention.

"I suppose he'll have to dig up worms, or whatever older crows eat."

His master propped himself up on an elbow, turning to face him and scowling. "They don't eat worms, they eat small animals and nuts and grain and all sorts of bigger things, not little worms or insects. Have you not been reading any of the books we got?"

"I tried, but my mind is too fogged with jealousy and unreleased sexual tension to focus properly ..."

"You're jealous of Mal." His master stated (not asked) flatly.

"Did you hear the sexual tension bit? That's important too."

"I swear, you'd be jealous of my reflection if I looked into a mirror too long!"

"Also sexual tension ..."

"Sebastian, can't you pay attention? I don't want him to fly away and never come back, but is not teaching him to fly cruel?" His master whined.

"Everything's going dark ... my body needs sex ... or ... it'll ... shut down ..." Sebastian said, voice fading as he went and a hand thrown dramatically to his forehead.

"..."

He peeked out from under his hand. "Oh come on, that was funny."

His master answered him with a pillow in the face.

**xox**

Ciel pet the top of Mal's head gently. "He's been sleeping an awful lot these past couple of days."

It was mid-morning and he and Sebastian were lounging on their sofa, Ciel laying between the older demon's legs and Mal's box in his lap.

"Probably from you feeding him so much, he'll end up too fat to fly," Sebastian replied, finally reading one of the books Ciel had picked out from the library on birds.

Ciel was too concerned to acknowledge the sarcasm. "But he doesn't look any bigger at all. Are you sure we're doing everything right?"

Sebastian sighed, running his hand through Ciel's hair soothingly. "No, I'm not sure at all, I'm just following the instructions we read from books and received from the pet shop, same as you. But we _are_ doing everything right according to them."

Ciel allowed Sebastian's caresses to calm him, leaning back into his touch. After a long moment of staring at their baby bird Ciel came to a decision. Tilting his head back, he looked at Sebastian upside down. "Even if he doesn't come home afterwords ... I don't want Mal to be a pet Sebastian. Will you help me teach him how to find food and fly and all that? So he can be a regular bird?"

Sebastian lifted the book to smile down at Ciel. "You know I'll do anything you ask of me."

"Really? And I don't even have to bribe you with sex?" Ciel asked, giving his demon an upside down smirk.

"Well, it certainly couldn't _hurt_, I may approach the task with a significant amount more enthusiasm."

"Tomorrow then? We can go and figure out how to hunt and forage and other nonsense as birds?"

"Of course," Sebastian answered, kissing Ciel on the top of his head. "If we go into a field though, and you get startled by a scarecrow, I reserve the right to laugh as long as I want."

"And if you use demon magic to catch a mouse I get to peck you on the head."

"Deal."

**xox**

They spent the day as crows, flying all around the country side, attempting to make up for their lack of animal instincts with their basic know-how.

Catching rodents and other animals small enough to eat was a bit of a chore for Ciel, who had not existed as a predator for his whole life. His abnormal swiftness as a demon balanced some of it out, but mostly ended in the animal escaping, leaving crow Ciel irritated and flapping outside a burrow or hole.

The actual task of picking corn and wheat with their beaks was also confusing, Ciel not enjoying the taste of raw seed and Sebastian not enjoying the taste of any normal sustenance at all, making them both wonder if they were indeed getting to the correct part of the plant.

They found a group of actual crows, and followed them around for a part of the day, watching them go through garbage and pillage unfortunate bird feeders. Sebastian maintained that they should keep a respectable distance, since they were not part of their "family" they might attack them, prompting Ciel to ask if that was why groups of crows were called a "murder". Crow Sebastian cawed a laugh, saying that only poets called them that.

Later in the afternoon they watched as two by two the birds departed from the large company, returning to near-by nests. Both perched on a fence, Sebastian leaned in, whispering to Ciel that crows mated for life. He rubbed his head adoringly against crow Ciel and gave him a dozen little bird kisses. The younger pressed his head against Sebastian's feathers in embarrassed affection.

The sun was setting when they realized it would take more than one day of practice before they would be knowledgeable enough to show Mal these things, but headed home feeling accomplished none the less.

**xox**

"My shoulders are sore," his master complained as they walked through the front door to their flat. "Is it from flying all day?"

"That, or from sitting around being lazy every other day," Sebastian teased, earning him a playful shove.

"Do you want some tea? It might ease a bit of the ache."

"Yes, that'd be lovely," he master grinned, despite his complaints he seemed rosy cheeked and exuberant from spending the whole day outside, and practically skipped into the living room. "Mal, we're home!"

Sebastian shook his head fondly, heading to the kitchen and putting the kettle on. "Young Master, what kind of tea did you want?" he called, moving canisters around in the cabinet. "We have Earl Grey and ... Earl Grey, never mind, we need to go to the store."

The older demon expected at least a snort from his master at that, but it was quiet besides the hiss of the gas from the stove. Sebastian poked his head around the corner of the kitchen, spotting his master looking down at Mal's bed.

A sensation Sebastian hadn't felt in years prickled at his skin, startling him for a moment till he realized it was the contract, pulling at him, telling him to act. He moved a few feet towards his master, concerned. "Young Master? ... Ciel?"

In the box with towels and handkerchiefs laid Mal, their baby bird. His beak was open, tiny wings splayed to the side, and eyes wide and unseeing.

"Sebastian ..." His master turned to him, stunning him once again as one eye was blue, the other violet, the pentagram in his eye glowing for the first time in what felt like forever. "Sebastian, fix it."

"Sebastian-" his master's voice broke and it only took the older demon two long strides to catch him as he crumbled. "Sebastian, this is an order! Fix it! Fix it!"

The two demons sank to the floor, the younger wracked with sobs that had no tears, repeating a command that Sebastian couldn't fulfill over and over. Even though the contract was pulsing through the older demon, making every nerve come alive with pain for not being able to follow an order, all he could focus on was the feel of his heart breaking as he held his master.

Despite all his power and magic; making flowers grow, repairing a priceless ring, immortality ...

... the one thing demons could not do ... was give life.

**xox**

They buried Mal in his box in the garden behind their building.

The day was overcast and windy, dead leaves being blown up into the air if they were dry enough. Spring had once more alluded England, everyone in their jackets despite it being mid April, and cold rainstorms still occurring almost every other day.

It was a little past noon on a weekday, so most of the other tenants were at their jobs, leaving them alone in the garden to bury their baby bird.

Sebastian brushed his hands on the legs of his pants, staining them with dirt, which would've usually bothered him, but today he found he was having trouble giving a damn. His master stood beside him, both staring at the little mound of dirt.

Finally, after a long silence, his master asked hoarsely, "What'd we do wrong?"

Sebastian glanced over at him. "Nothing, that I know of."

The younger demon frowned deeply, his eyes still red from his not-crying. "Then why did he die?"

Sebastian shifted his weight from one foot to the other, trying to think of a way to be honest and delicate at the same time. "Sometimes things, especially babies, sometimes they just ... die. He could have been sick when you found him, or hurt from falling out of the tree ... baby animals are very delicate, even though we were as gentle as we could be we might have hurt him accidentally-"

The look on his master's face stopped him.

"You mean ... I might've killed him-?"

"It was just an example," Sebastian soothed quickly, pulling the younger demon to him and kissing the top of his head. He paused a significant amount of time before telling something very close to a lie. "I'm sure it wasn't anything you did."

Sebastian could never actually be sure of that, but there was no evidence indicating it had been their fault either. For the second time in two days the mark of their covenant stung him, but he decided it was worth it.

"It's not fair," his master mumbled from between his arms.

"Life rarely is, as I'm sure you, of all people, are well aware." Sebastian said softly.

His master whipped out of his embrace and shouted. "So what? You're going to mock me now?"

"I wasn't trying to mock you," Sebastian responded, reaching for the younger demon apologetically, only to have his hands slapped away.

"Yes you were! You're saying that because of everything that's happened that it's foolish to be upset over a bird!"

Sebastian shook his head. "No, Young Master, I didn't-"

"Shut up! Forgive me, I forget that I'm the only one of us that was ever human!"

Sebastian winced at the insult as his master turned and stomped away. The older demon's feelings were too hurt to chase after him, deciding to go back to the flat alone and wait till his master calmed down.

It had taken the better part of three years for his master to be able to turn into an adult crow by himself, and it would be another five before Sebastian would see him take that form again.

**xox**

It may have been the middle of the week, but house wives that stayed home to raise their children didn't have a job to be at, which was why Ciel wasn't surprised to see the same two women and their children at the park that day. The young demon leaned against the tree he had found Mal under, watching the boy and girl play tag.

Life wasn't fair. He should know that, shouldn't he?

The boy (wasn't his name Jon?) pushed his friend over in their game, earning him cries of "Cheater! Cheater!" as she struggled to her feet to pursue him again.

From a long time ago, Ciel recalled a poem ... who had it been by? Alfred something ... (immortality washing away things that he used to know by heart).

_I hold it true, whate'er befall;_

_I feel it, when I sorrow most;_

_'Tis better to have loved and lost_

_Than never to have loved at all._

Jon was running as fast as he could, face red from exercise and cold air, laughing back at the little girl who couldn't catch up.

_... I would have rather never loved at all ..._

Ciel's eyes shone crimson for the briefest of seconds, a resounding "CRACK" echoing throughout the mostly empty park, as Jon crumbled to the ground.

There were five full seconds of silence before an earsplitting shriek came from the boy, his friend's screams joining him, the pause long enough for her to finally catch up with him.

The two women bolted from their bench, running faster than someone wearing pumps and a skirt should be able to.

"Jon! Jon! Oh my God, his leg!"

"Oh bloody hell the bone is showing!"

"Quick, Phillis, go call an ambulance!"

"There's no time! Help me lift him-!"

Ciel turned away from the scene, walking towards home.

He knew life wasn't fair.

But Ciel Phantomhive always got even.

* * *

_a/n: birds_


	5. And Nail: Part 1

**Disclaimer: Yana Toboso owns Kuroshitsuji.  
**

* * *

**And Nail: Part 1**

**_1923_**

"Ah- Sebastian-! That hurts!"

"Well if you would stop squirming ..."

"Then go slower, you bastard!"

"Just a moment ago you said 'hurry up', you need to make up your mind."

"I meant don't take all day! But don't cut off my fingers trying to rush!"

"Particular, aren't you?" Sebastian tutted, holding Ciel's left wrist in a vice like grip, and brandishing finger nail clippers threateningly.

Trying to wiggle away from the older demon in the bath tub had proved to be almost impossible. Everything was too slick and smooth to grab hold of ... besides Sebastian's hair. But that turned out to be pretty ill advised as well, seeing as how tugging Sebastian around in every direction _while_ he was trying to clip Ciel's finger nails ended in a bloody finger tip.

Being a demon, Ciel was finding out, was ridiculously annoying.

First, all his human teeth had to be pulled out so demon ones could grow in, then he had to try to learn magic (which included countless failed attempts at shape shifting), and now he apparently had _razor blades_ as finger nails.

At the beginning his nails had just turned black, seeming to still be normal besides that, but starting a few days ago he'd been accidentally slicing everything his fingers touched open (including himself and Sebastian). After the older demon had spent almost an entire day trying to show Ciel how to _not_ rend everything to bits, even Sebastian (in all his supposed infinite patience) had become exasperated, deciding to trim Ciel's claws down for the time being.

They had soaked in the tub together for ten minutes, letting Ciel's nails get soft in the warm water so they could be trimmed. But Ciel had seriously underestimated Sebastian's dedication to the project. Every digit was cut extremely close to the quick, leaving his fingers stinging when re-submerged in the soapy water.

So there they were, covered in bubbles and glaring at each other.

"I need to trim your toe nails too," Sebastian said, finally releasing Ciel's arm.

"Why? They haven't been cutting anything up."

"Tell that to my pants and legs. You do realize when you sleep you always wrap your legs around mine? Well that adorable habit has become somewhat painful of late," his demon deadpanned, lifting one of Ciel's feet up.

The younger demon leaned back against the porcelain, crossing his arms and huffing. "Can't we do my feet later? Like once my fingers are done bleeding all over the place?"

"You're only bleeding from one and it was your own fault," Sebastian replied, clipping at a toe nail. Ciel attempted to poke his demon in the nose with his foot, and continued to grumble irritably. The older demon made the rare gesture of rolling his eyes, but then smiled (stupidly). "If you'll hold still I'll give you a kiss~"

"Pssht," Ciel said, rolling his own eyes (a much more common gesture for him). "What kind of incentive is that? Only you win there."

Sebastian pouted. "You don't like kissing me?"

Maybe if his fingers hadn't been cut open, and maybe if he hadn't been forcibly kept in the bath tub, and maybe if being a demon wasn't so bloody _annoying_ ... Ciel wouldn't have given a smart ass reply.

But they had, he had, and it was ... so he did.

"Not as much as other people I've kissed."

There was a tense two seconds where it was so quiet in their bathroom you could hear the bubbles popping.

Ciel opened his mouth to take it back (it wasn't even the truth after all, he was just being mean). Right as he did though, Sebastian yanked his ankle up, pulling the younger demon away from the side of the tub, effectively dunking Ciel under the water. Mouth wide open and surprised as all hell, he choked on soap and bath water, till he was able to get his elbows underneath himself and sit up.

Drenched, head covered in big pink tinted bubbles, and coughing up water, Ciel sat, hunched over for a moment till he could breath properly again. He pointed an accusing finger at Sebastian's smug face and choked out, "Y-You tried to kill me!"

"In my defense," the older demon responded smoothly. "I _can't_ kill you."

If _looks_ could kill ... Sebastian would have been dead twice.

Discarding any remaining maturity he had, Ciel whipped both his arms through the water at his demon, splashing Sebastian in the face and thoroughly drenching the wall and the floor as well.

Bangs plastered to his forehead and a comically large glob of suds on his nose, Sebastian's eyebrow twitched once. "I won't kiss you now if you begged me."

"I don't want to anyway!"

"Oh, that's right, too many _better_ options out there for you."

"You'd better believe there are-" Ciel paused mid sentence, watching as Sebastian's face went from irked to neutral, effectively hiding his mood (though the younger could _guess_).

"I'm tired of this game," his demon sighed, climbing out of the tub. Ciel watched as Sebastian took a towel and left, leaving wet footprints behind him, completely uncharacteristic of the obsessively neat demon.

Once alone, the younger demon pinched the bridge of his nose with his forefinger and thumb, trying to will a forthcoming headache away.

He looked down at the one bleeding finger and mustered up an inhuman level of stubbornness, deciding that it would require an act of God or Parliament to make him apologize.

* * *

_a/n: eek_


	6. Trade Mistakes: Part 1

**Disclaimer: Kuro belongs to Yana Toboso!**

**a/n: the ratings on this and _D&I_ have been moved up to M as per suggested by readers (thank you for your input!)**

**warnings: funny, fluffy, sexy, morbid**

* * *

**Trade Mistakes: Part 1**

_1930 - present day_

After so many years Ciel would have thought he'd be used to faking funerals.

But after ... how many times had they done this? He couldn't remember, too many to count? Or maybe it wasn't too many and he just hadn't been keeping track?

Well, who keeps track of those kinds of things?

It wasn't a holiday, it was an obnoxious ordeal, that had now turned into a blood thirsty battle of wits.

**xox**

In the first few decades of the 1900s Sebastian and Ciel had been faced with the rather odd problem of people noticing them. It was one thing to hypnotize a landlord or lady, or their close neighbors, but it simply wasn't practical to try to do that with a whole village.

So they had gotten into the bad habit of faking their deaths from time to time, when moving wasn't an option ... or when they owed people money, or had borrowed someone's book and lost it.

Practical reasons.

**xox**

The first time, they had both "died" at the same time, from being "poisoned" by a bad can of tuna (something Sebastian found appropriate, with his distrust of _all_ canned goods).

What they didn't realize was that with no close relatives, friends, or a will, they were to be cremated.

Ciel made it onto the slab that the mortician would slide into the oven ... then promptly panicked. Being terribly afraid of fire wasn't something you just got over one day, and being a demon and nearly indestructible had done nothing to assuage his phobias (though you'd think it would).

He had sat up as his would-be cremator was starting to push him into the oven and began berating the man (his defense mechanism to throw wild and pointless insults around seemed to not be just for Sebastian).

"You're going to _burn_ us? What the bloody hell point ... what if we are Christians, hmm? What about the whole-" Ciel waved a hand in the air, as if trying to pull religious vernacular from it. "-second coming nonsense? How in the world is God going to resurrect us if you burn my blame body to ash?"

Ciel's voice had risen an octave in fear, and the high sound of it echoed back to him from the stone walls, causing him to flush in shame. He cleared his throat, trying to control the pitch, but before he could make a more reasonable argument to the cremator, the man clutched his chest, stumbling back into a table of tools and gasping for breath.

Oh that's right, he was a talking corpse.

That wasn't ... normal ... to say the least.

The young demon watched in a bit of shock as the man fell to the floor motionless. All he could do was stare stupidly at him, till Sebastian's uncontrollable laughter reached him. Ciel glared across the room at his demon, who was sitting up now too, and clutching at his sides, having a very uncharacteristic ... giggle fit (for lack of a better term).

"You ... you killed him-" Sebastian said, gasping for breath and nearly doubled over in laughter.

"Oh, shut it! You didn't say anything about getting cremated!" Ciel snapped, hopping down from the table at the end of the oven. He gave the (now deceased) mortician a hard kick in irritation.

Sebastian said something to the effect of "how would I know?" but then succumbed to his mirth once again when Ciel jumped in surprise as one of the man's ribs cracked from his kick. "Kill him - then -" Sebastian covered his mouth in an attempt to hold all his joy in. "-then you desecrate his corpse!"

Ciel had started flinging anything he could find at his demon, who dodged while laughing, reminding Ciel of another mad idiot who hung around in a funeral homes.

**xox**

After that first unfortunate debacle, Ciel decided it was best if they "died" one at a time, despite Sebastian insistence that a will would do, the younger demon wanted to take no chances on ending up at the mouth of an oven again.

The two, morbid as it was, became almost connoisseurs at funeral arrangements; able to pick out coffins that wouldn't clash with their funeral wreathes, and spending lazy afternoons modeling suits to one another, trying to pick the outfit that would look both somber and respectable, while also making them stand out from the casket and flowers.

Sebastian, of course, was much more ... extravagant ... in his tastes, going so far once to demand a custom built coffin that would compliment Ciel's hair color. It was much easier for the older demon, being able to compel people, where as Ciel was limited by pesky little things like price tags.

**xox**

"It isn't a contest," Sebastian said smugly, offering his hand down to Ciel in his grave that the older demon had just dug up. It was night, and raining, and despite the fact that mud was rising around Ciel's ankles at an alarming rate Sebastian stood at the top of the grave, shovel in hand, and looking completely pristine besides being wet.

"And if it was?" the younger demon grumbled, being pulled out of the hole, shoes now filled with mud and looking considerably more disheveled even though he hadn't been doing any of the work.

"Well if it was, which it isn't ... I'd be winning."

Ciel tisked as Sebastian began the messy process of shoveling the once dirt now mud back into the grave, Ciel tossing his ruined shoes in, then demanding to be carried out so he didn't have to walk barefoot through a cemetery. The only revenge he could think of besides pushing Sebastian in the grave ... which he'd done once before already ... only to be pulled back down in it with him ... and ... well he wasn't going to do it again.

**xox**

Today was Sebastian's turn, Ciel's deceased older brother, cousin, care taker, whatever he'd said to the police when they had arrived after the EMTs declared Sebastian dead on the scene.

A tragedy really, he had his whole life ahead of him but couldn't deal with his crippling depression, and had ended it all with pain medication and vodka. Sebastian had never really been the same after getting a girl pregnant while he was in college, only for her parents to whisk her and the unborn child away, afraid of Sebastian's reckless ways. He'd dropped out of school and began drinking away his sorrow. Ciel had come to live with his (brother? cousin? what had he said?) to keep an eye on him, only to come home one day and find him face down on the living room floor, at peace finally, where his horrible life choices couldn't haunt him anymore.

Ciel could swear he saw Sebastian's eyebrow twitch as this story was tearfully related to the sympathetic police officers.

The younger demon would probably never be able to organize a funeral as nice as Sebastian could, but Ciel seemed to have a flair for besmirching his demon's character in his "final moments".

Ciel had decided on a new tactic: to annoy Sebastian as much as possible.

**xox**

It was past midnight when Ciel re-entered the funeral home, his footfalls nearly silent on the thick red carpet.

Today had been the wake, and Ciel had sat there staring at Sebastian's "corpse" wearing a white suit, in a white casket, with white lilies surrounding him.

The younger demon couldn't help but give over to very strong silent laughter every couple of minutes. Luckily, from the door way, it appeared to the staff that he was shaking with sobs rather than mirth.

Reaching the side of Sebastian's coffin, Ciel pursed his lips in thought. "Did I say you were my brother or cousin? I can't remember."

Sebastian's eyes opened, regarding Ciel coolly. "Why not say I'm your father? You could be that long lost son I was never able to see."

"The time you said I was your son you ... had a bit too much fun with," Ciel replied, his face heating up recalling.

Sebastian's foul mood dissipated as a wide smile spread across his face. "Ah yes, you were a very good child, my _favorite_."

"Oh, shut it," Ciel growled, pushing a bundle of lilies over so they'd fall on his demon's face.

Sebastian chuckled, sitting up and stretching. His suit jacket lifted up a bit and Ciel frowned at his pants. "Where's your belt?"

"They didn't put one on me," the older demon said, fussing with the flowers on the lid of his coffin.

"What! You know how long it took me to find a white belt and they just ... what just kept it? Who steals a dead person's clothes!" Ciel huffed.

"I hope you didn't get shoes too."

"I did! They didn't put your shoes on either?"

Sebastian shook his head smirking, finally satisfied with his sympathy bouquet.

"Those thieving bastards!" Ciel spat, half inclined to go tearing through the funeral home to find the missing pieces of his demon's outfit.

"Young Master, what are you doing here in the middle of the night anyway?" Sebastian inquired, leaning back in the casket like it was the most comfortable of chairs. "You already stayed a few hours for the wake and the funeral isn't till eleven tomorrow ... or later today rather."

Ciel was wondering about a plausible way to accuse the staff there of stealing without admitting that he'd seen more of Sebastian's "corpse" than had been displayed, so answered truthfully without even meaning to. "You know I can't sleep when you aren't there."

Sebastian stared at him, surprised. Realizing what he'd blurted out he quickly added, "It's boring at home, there's nothing on the telly-" A slow smirk was spreading across his demon's face. "-besides, what are you complaining about? I came to see you didn't I, so shut up."

"Yes, yes, come, climb on in and let me shower you with _brotherly_ affection," Sebastian said, grinning from ear to ear.

"Keep that up and next time I'll say you touched me inappropriately and I murdered you to escape." Ciel deadpanned.

"Since when have you ever tried to escape when I touched you inappropriately?"

Ciel rolled his eyes and climbed in the casket with Sebastian, sighing contentedly as his back pressed against the older demon's chest and two arms wrapped around him. The older demon rubbed his nose in the younger's hair, kissing the back of his ear as Ciel inspected Sebastian's sleeves, making sure the gold cufflinks he'd bought were there (another choice made to annoy his demon, who preferred silver).

"Say what you will," Ciel commented, turning his head to look at Sebastian. "But you do look smart in white."

His demon grunted disagreeably, pulling Ciel's jumper down his shoulder so he could kiss skin, then paused. "Is this ... my sweater?"

A beat.

"What does it matter?" the younger demon huffed, turning away again. "You're dead, you don't need it anymore."

"You're so cute when you miss me."

"I never said I missed you, it was on the top of the laundry basket is all."

Sebastian hummed, pressing his hands against Ciel's stomach to pull him even closer, whispering. "We've never done it in a coffin before."

"Yes we did, when you pulled me back into my grave after I had pushed you-"

"We've never had _pre-burial_ coffin sex though."

"What's the difference!" the younger (considerably more flustered) demon demanded.

"Well, for one, it's substantially less dirty-"

"Everything with you is dirty-"

"Why's your skin so hot-?"

"Because you're pressed so close and breathing in my ear and kissing me and you never wear white-" Ciel groaned, sensing how close defeat was.

"Oh no, and this would be your only time to take advantage of my attire, since I would never wear this much white at home," Sebastian purred, moving his hips slightly so Ciel could _feel_ how ... _pressing_ the issue was.

"Dammit all," the younger demon grumbled, hastily unbuckling his belt, causing Sebastian to spring into action as well, the zipper of his pants sounding louder than usual in the silent parlor of the funeral home.

Both demon's were cramped in the casket, trying to shimmy their respective trousers down without rocking the box too much, lest it fall off the stand it was set on. There was about thirty seconds worth of foreplay, a few kisses and saliva being applied where needed, before Sebastian pulled Ciel roughly back against him (around him), another pause for both to gasp quietly, and then Ciel was bracing his hands against the side of the coffin, pushing back onto Sebastian just as hard as he was being pulled.

"Which one had the cufflinks?"

The two demons (mid-coitus) froze, their superior hearing picking up the voice from the entrance of the building.

"It was the young bloke, in the medium parlor, all in white?"

"Ah, yeah, I remember."

Ciel's started wiggling violently, trying to pull away as he and Sebastian heard footsteps coming towards them. "_Shit! Shit! Where-?!_"

"_Get down, in the lower part of the damn - ow! Get off of me first! That isn't supposed to bend that way!_"

"_You're the one who wanted to have a bloody tryst in a damn-!_"

"_Quiet Ciel! We can argue about it later! Just- dammit! Hide!_"

With much whispering, cursing, and re-situating, Ciel managed to scoot down besides Sebastian's legs, his own knees pulled up against his chest and his head resting on his demon's thigh. Sebastian was busy composing his top half, trying to smooth the wrinkles on his shirt and jacket, and make his expression look, well, dead, and had completely ignored zipping his pants up, leaving Ciel's face very close to his demon's ... intimate bits.

The door opened and the two men entered, talking and laughing together.

Ciel thought about fixing the ... situation himself but he was scared if he touched Sebastian _there_ his demon would start grinning like an idiot when he needed to keep still. Instead, Ciel closed his eyes and tried to pretend like there wasn't a big, erect ... he felt his head to his shoulders get hot with embarrassment, repeating "goddammit Sebastian" over and over in his head.

"You were right, these are real gold," one man said, Ciel carefully looked up to see fingers touching Sebastian's cufflinks, his demon's hands were both resting on his chest again.

"Yeah they look it, I mean, look at this bleedin' box an' suit, an' I figured how could they _not_ be real?"

There was a hum of acknowledgment from the first man.

"The belt an' shoes I snatched were nice too, just wanted to make sure that the cufflinks were real gold before I took them, since they're visible."

Ciel grit his teeth.

This bastard! Stealing from dead (figuratively, in this case) people! Well, Ciel hoped they were happy, because they just lost some good business! He was never coming back to this place again! And maybe that wasn't a big deal since most people only died once, but someone who had two funerals every fifteen or so years? They were losing what could have potentially been a very loyal customer!

The younger demon seethed and ranted silently, trying not to make an audible growling sound. He would've used magic to snap their necks (well, maybe that was a bit harsh for stealing, but still) but the whole point of his and Sebastian's "deaths" was to draw attention _away_ from them. How odd would it be if an employee of the funeral home they were using turned up dead? (Really, this wasn't a murder-worthy event, _but still_)

"Did he have anything else?"

"Ah yeah, I wanted you to look at it, get a second opinion."

Ciel frowned, wondering what they could be talking about. He'd picked out Sebastian's clothes especially for his "death" and the only trinket on him were the gold cufflinks. The foreign hands loosened Sebastian's tie and a few of the buttons on his shirt, the light in the room caught the chain around the demon's neck as it was held up. Ciel's heart stopped.

"Is it real silver?" the second man inquired, holding the ring on the chain up.

"Nah, it's white gold, but it's real. Here, lift his head an' I'll undo the clasp."

_No_.

For a moment Ciel though he had mistaken the two thieves genders, because the terrified, shrill screams both made when Sebastian grabbed them didn't sound like any noise a _man_ would make.

"Young Master, I wonder if you'd be so kind as to fix my pants for me before I get out of the casket?"

Ciel sat up, opening the lower half of the coffin lid, causing the two thieves Sebastian held to jump in even more fright. "So you left your pants undone on purpose?"

"I didn't know how long you would have to hide down there and wanted to give you something to occupy your time," Sebastian replied, beaming.

"You're terrible," Ciel said, shaking his head and fixing his demon's trousers.

"And yet you love me despite my faults," Sebastian mused, gracefully swinging both legs over the side of his coffin and twisting the men's arms so that they both cried out and went to their knees.

"W-What the hell-?!"

"I-I helped embalm you! Y-You can't-!"

"_**Quiet.**_" Sebastian ordered, causing the two human's eyes to glaze over as they were compelled into silence. "What would you like me to do about them, Young Master?"

"Kill them," Ciel replied offhandedly, kicking his legs back and forth over the side of the white casket while lounging back into the cushioned walls of the box.

Sebastian turned, raising an eyebrow. "Really now? Kill them?"

The younger demon sighed, waving his order away. "No, don't kill them ... just make them forget, oh, and slap them around a bit."

"Gladly," Sebastian complied cheerily.

**xox**

The shovel finally hit something solid after Ciel had been digging for what felt like forever. He stomped twice on the thin layer of dirt covering Sebastian's used-to-be white coffin, signaling him to get out. The soil poured off as the older demon opened the lid, popping his head out into the cold night air.

Giving Ciel a once over he drawled, "You look awful."

Ciel still sweat much more than Sebastian and, even after being a demon this long, lacked a certain ... finesse that Sebastian seemed to possess. He was covered almost head to foot in dirt, and where he was sweating it had turned to muddy smears on his skin.

"Yeah, well next time dig yourself up," he growled, tossing the shovel down and definitely _not_ pouting.

"I would be more upset that you ruined my sweater," Sebastian said, standing up and stepping out of the casket, smiling devilishly (really, he was) the whole time. "But it's just too flattering that you kept it on since I've been gone."

"It was on the top of the basket!" Ciel exclaimed again, throwing his arms up in frustration.

"Mmhmm," Sebastian hummed, picking up both Ciel and the shovel and jumping out of his grave. Once out he set the younger demon down and began filling the hole back up. "I think that it just makes you nervous, having me even pretend to be dead."

"Hardly," Ciel scuffed, trying to make himself comfortable on top of Sebastian's tombstone, then added wryly. "It's quite peaceful with you dead and gone."

"Except at night when you can't sleep."

"A conditioned response that _you_ perpetuated."

Sebastian paused in his work, scowling at Ciel. "You're lucky that I'm so patient, anyone else who had to survive on the meager displays of affection you give would have wasted away from unrequited love by now."

"And yet you love me despite my faults," Ciel quoted, smirking.

"Indeed," Sebastian grinned.

**xox**

The next time it was Ciel's turn to "die".

Sebastian told a heart wrenching story of his son who from a very early age had wanted nothing but to wear beautiful dresses, but was too self conscious to do so when he was alive.

So, like a good father, Sebastian insisted Ciel be buried in the frilliest, pinkest, (sexiest) dress he could find.

* * *

_a/n: you see what i did there_


	7. Trade Mistakes: Part 2

**Disclaimer: Kuro belongs to Yana Toboso!**

* * *

**Trade Mistakes: Part 2**

_1997_

Shutting the front door of his and Sebastian's house made a loud empty sound that Ciel could swear it didn't usually make. He had just got back from Sebastian's wake, after having quietly giggled himself stupid at the sight of his demon all in white, and now was left to his own devices till the funeral tomorrow.

They were living in a duplex this time, the closest thing they had ever come to a proper house besides the few cottages they had occupied in the country when they were feeling particularly anti-social.

How Sebastian had finagled the money (or just plain finagled) for this place Ciel hadn't asked, well he had asked but Sebastian had answered to the effect of, "If a servant of Phantomhive couldn't do this much-" to which Ciel had replied by either hitting him in the face with something or just old fashioned hitting him in the face.

On the subject of getting hit in the face, Ciel wondered (as he was climbing the stairs to their bedroom, footsteps echoing on the hard wood when he couldn't remember their house ever having an echoing problem before) what the demon would have in store for him in retaliation to the white funeral.

Usually Ciel wouldn't have made such a brash move without thinking of the several ways his demon might counter attack, but it had been such a long time since they'd played any of these kinds of games that the younger demon was just now considering it (well at least ones that took this much planning, there was still the day to day games, like wearing his shoes through the house so he could hear Sebastian's aggravated grumblings as he polished his perfect hard wood floors for the hundredth time).

Well what was the worst that could happen? Would Sebastian sneak broccoli into all the food he cooked? Would he move them somewhere without cable television?

Ciel scoffed as he flopped onto their bed. He felt he could handle whatever Sebastian threw at him.

He sighed as he let all his muscles relax into the soft bed. He was so tired for some reason, well, he _felt_ tired. Sebastian was still insisting that it was just a human habit he needed to break, that he didn't actually _need _sleep. But Ciel liked to sleep, and also eat, and it wasn't like he had anywhere to be. And you couldn't very well sleep your life away when you're immortal, rather it seemed like sleeping might keep you from going mad.

Ciel looked over at Sebastian's side of the bed, and in a (not so rare) act of childish defiance rolled into the very middle, stretching his legs and arms out as far as he could. His face was half on Sebastian's pillow and he inhaled deeply, allowing himself to really smell for the first time in a while.

Just like everything else, demons had a very good sense of smell. The first couple of years that Ciel had been a demon Sebastian had taken them as far out into the country side as he could, the younger demon not able to stomach the strong smells coming from any kind of town. London had smelt bad in places as a human, but as a demon Ciel couldn't keep himself upright in the city. Sebastian had told Ciel that he didn't _have_ to breathe (much like sleeping). And maybe if Sebastian hadn't been half way to losing his mind back then it wouldn't have taken Ciel so long to figure out how to stop smelling things by himself ...

He shook the memories away and concentrated on separating Sebastian's scent from the others on the pillow. Even though they were both demons and stayed in such close quarters to one another Ciel and Sebastian each smelt different. There was this ... vanilla, or, maybe it was burning sugar, smell that followed Ciel wherever he went. It was the scent of his soul, the one that wasn't there anymore, and Sebastian had said the smell would probably cling to him for years. Where as the older demon was distinctly missing anything that resembled sweet, where Ciel's burning sugar was, on Sebastian it was more like spice, like cloves, something dark and warm.

At least the smell was supposed to be warm. The demonling couldn't help but notice (along with the emptiness, and the echoing) that it seemed unusually cold in their home. Ciel wiggled his way under the sheets and blankets, and curled up on his side, trying to draw some warmth from himself. After stubbornly holding his eyes shut for what seemed like hours (it was more like ten minutes), and wrapping himself into a soft blanket cocoon for warmth, he had to finally concede that he wasn't going to be able to sleep.

He was used to pressing his back against a firm chest, two big arms wrapped around him, and affectionate kisses being peppered on his neck ...

Irritated, he got out of bed, determined not to sit around ... _pining_ or whatever you'd call what he'd been doing. Upon standing though he left Sebastian's smell behind, suddenly feeling twice as cold and lonely in the empty house. Standing in the door way, he chewed on his bottom lip, wondering if he carried Sebastian's pillow down stairs with him if the older demon would be able to tell.

Next to the door to their bedroom was a wicker chair Sebastian had made (don't ask ...), and sitting on the chair was a laundry basket along with the clothes the older demon had been wearing before "dying". Often times, in attempts to resuscitate them, emergency personnel would cut their clothes off in order to use the paddles, try to close up large wounds, etc, and so Sebastian always made sure to put on an outfit he wasn't particularly fond of before "dying" (in order to preserve his wardrobe).

Ciel eyed the dark orange jumper that was neatly folded on the top of the basket. Picking it up (but first peeking his head out into the hall, to make sure no one was looking) he gave it an experimental sniff, finding it still had Sebastian's smell all over it. Figuring that he could explain away wearing his demon's clothes better than he could carrying around his pillow, Ciel shed his dress coat and pulled the sweater over his head. In hung to the middle of his thighs and the sleeves covered his hands completely, but he found he didn't much care as he headed down stairs to the living room, the smell of cloves following him the whole way.

You would think that on Saturday night there would be more to watch on TV, but all Ciel could find were re-runs. He flipped aimlessly through the channels, his ire rising with every passing program. Being prone to suspicion, the younger demon began to wonder if Sebastian had known about the white funeral and had _planned_ this exact day to "pass away". He was imagining Sebastian snickering like an idiot in his casket, knowing that Ciel was stuck at home with nothing to do.

He shook his head, aggravated.

_No, no, no! I refuse to sit here all night and think about how he isn't here! Every damn thing can't be related to that idiot-!_

The commercial ended and a rerun of _As Time Goes By_ came on ... and Ciel remembered the first time Sebastian had watched the show.

**xox**

"... Are you watching a sitcom?"

"Yes, it has M in it."

"You mean Dame Judi Dench," Ciel huffed. He didn't understand why Sebastian couldn't remember actors or actresses' names but could recall passages from ancient books to the letter.

"She played M in James Bond," Sebastian replied cheerfully.

Ciel eyed his demon skeptically. _Golden Eye_ had come out a few weeks ago ... and it had been _horrible_ ... just ... _awful_, but for whatever reason Sebastian had _loved_ it, even going so far as to ask about the video game by the same name (when both of them knew that Sebastian wasn't very good at them). Ciel flopped back against the armrest of the sofa, nettled at the older demon's bad taste.

"You know this show has been running for a couple of years, right? You never wanted to watch it before. Do you suddenly have an interest in _The Lawnmower Man_ as well?"

Sebastian frowned while taking Ciel's legs into his lap (to pet them most likely). "What's _The Lawnmower Man_?"

"It's got Pierce Brosnan in it."

Sebastian stared at him blankly.

"James Bond!"

"Oh, well is it any good?"

Ciel threw his hands up in exasperation. "I don't even know anymore! You liked _Golden Eye_!"

"You didn't?" the older demon pouted.

"You're an imbecile!"

**xox**

Ciel caught himself smiling at the memory.

Three times as irritated now, he got up and headed for the kitchen.

_That stupid, stupid demon! He hangs all over me when he's here, get's me so used to his company I can't even function! He planned this whole thing!_

Determined to eat his troubles away, he yanked the door open on the refrigerator.

_He's so annoying! And stupid! And obnoxious! And-!_

Ciel's mental tirade was cut short, however, because sitting on the top shelf of the fridge, all neatly lined up on wax paper, were about a dozen strawberries, their tips dipped in chocolate. He stared at them dumbly for a moment before noticing a little piece of paper folded next to them, which simply read:

_Miss you._

_-S_

The treats were ignored though, as Ciel ran out of the house and headed straight to the funeral home, not realizing he was still wearing Sebastian's sweater.

* * *

_a/n: shaken, not stirred _


	8. The Boogeyman

**Disclaimer: Kuro belongs to Yana Toboso!**

**warnings: sexy sex times**

* * *

**The Boogeyman **

_1986_

Being a creature of the supernatural ... well, honestly that was a bit racist. Did humans go around calling themselves _regular_-natural? No they didn't, so they needed to stop (as he saw it) singling him out.

Mortal bigotry aside, being a creature of _more than human capabilities_, horror movies had never really affected Sebastian too terribly much.

He lacked the ability to be terrified, as humans were, by a man wielding a chainsaw (been there, done that), or the risen dead with a taste for flesh (he'd done that too), or even swarms of trained, homicidal rats (okay, well that was new, but he wasn't afraid of rats, murderous or otherwise).

Since he found himself in the minority of not being afraid while watching horror movies, he simply viewed them for their cinematic values alone. Those values were low. Very low. The plots in this particular genre were shaky at best, the acting was God awful (at best), and the so called special effects ... well, special was definitely not the word he would use.

Unfortunately, in Sebastian's absence for several years in the early 1900s, one pastime his master had taken up on his own was going to the cinema, and not until the 20s when Sebastian was dragged to see _Nosferatu_ a dozen times did he realize that the little demon was quite fond of horror films.

Sebastian was puzzled at his master's interest, what with all the _real_ horror they had encountered in the few years that his master had been a human. Though perhaps he missed the excitement and the gore? Well, maybe the excitement, he'd never handled gore with much grace as a boy ... And really, since they were both demons now they rarely stumbled across anything outside of human besides themselves. The last instance Sebastian could recall was bumping into the reaper Ronald Knox at a model train hobby shop.

One might wonder what a grim reaper was doing at a model train hobby shop.

Sebastian wondered too, but you'd have to ask Ronald Knox about that.

One might also wonder what _Sebastian_ was doing at a model train hobby shop.

Well, that was a rather long story, so best to come back to it later.

But yes, his master liked scary movies (the term "scary" here being objective), so Sebastian had endured quite a lot of them over the years.

On Halloween though, he endured _marathons_ of them.

Halloween, All Hallows' Eve, Samhain, whatever someone decided to call it, actually had _nothing_ to do with demons. Perhaps a very long time ago there _may_ have been human sacrifices or other such nonsense around harvest time, but for all the note demons had taken of it those people were really just participating in organized murder. Though that was a bit convoluted too, they were really sacrificing to their gods, or fairies, not demons at all. In fact, how hell and demons had gotten caught up with the thirty-first of October was still a bit perplexing to Sebastian ... but these days it really didn't matter one way or the other because-

"It's about candy," his master said, ripping the third huge bag of sweets open and pouring it into a bowl with the rest. Atop the younger demon's head, ironically, were a pair of red plastic horns, and somewhere near the sofa (under the shopping bags and discarded sweet wrappers) was a plastic pitchfork to compliment his headgear. "Every year some mothers and other busy-bodies go around fussing at everyone and talking about damnation and all, when it's really about Free. Damn. Candy."

Sebastian was sitting on their couch, watching the chocolates, sours, licorice, and etc. overflow onto the coffee table as the bowl his master had was much over capacity. "So you're saying that this particular holiday doesn't inspire any devious acts?"

"Well the neighbor kids always throw eggs and toilet paper on every visible surface, but that seems more like bad parenting than an influence of evil," the younger demon drawled, giving up on fitting all the candy in his bowl. Instead, he started eating the pieces on the table that wouldn't fit.

"I wonder then, where did you get all those tapes?"

Surrounded by candies (and a few empty wrappers now too) was a stack of VHS tapes, all from the horror section.

"The video store." His master gestured offhandedly.

"You rented them all?"

"I ... _got_ them from the video store."

"So you stole them," Sebastian smirked. "Stole scary movies to have your marathon on Halloween. So you're half right and half wrong, because I both parented you and influenced you in evil."

"Hardly," the younger demon replied, rolling his eyes. "Besides, every Halloween after this I won't have to steal them, because we own them now."

"Watch, they'll make something better than video tapes and you'll have to procure them all over again," Sebastian laughed.

His master tisked. "How could they possibly improve them?"

Sebastian merely shrugged. He'd decided a long time ago to stop doubting humans and their science. He remembered thinking that indoor plumbing had to be partially a marvel of God Himself.

His master plopped down on the couch next to him, large trove of treats precariously balanced on one knee, as he looked through the movies.

"Where are _my_ horns?" Sebastian asked, nudging his master playfully.

"Oh," the younger demon shuffled through the plastic shopping bags on the floor, producing another headband ... with a halo. Smiling he put it atop Sebastian's head. "There you are."

"I suppose you think you're rather clever don't you?" Sebastian grimaced, leaning back against the arm rest, plastic halo bobbing frantically with every movement.

"I rather do, I'm sorry that I couldn't find you a harp as well ... or were you more the type shooting little love arrows at people?"

"Comparing my carefully chiseled features to a cherub is laughable with your big eyes and round cheeks."

"I'm going to assume the 'round cheeks' you're referring to are on my face."

"I was referring to both sets," Sebastian grinned, showing his sharp canines that contrasted garishly with his little halo.

"That's not any way for an _angel_ to be talking," his master teased. And really, he was teasing, Sebastian had learned to pick up on the younger demon's invitations.

In the 70s his master had started what Sebastian could only call "demon puberty", causing the younger demon to suddenly pounce on Sebastian at all hours of the day and night, pent up sexual energies needing to be released.

It had been almost a decade though, and his master had reined in his baser instincts to a certain degree, giving Sebastian the courtesy of flirtation first, rather than the aforementioned pouncing. Sebastian didn't mind either way, it was hard to take advantage of someone who wanted to be taken advantage of after all.

Sebastian sat up, leaning towards the younger demon. "I suppose in this scenario you're the devil leading me astray then?" he purred close to his master's ear, kissing the younger's neck sweetly.

"I shudder to think of what kind of devil it would take to make you any _more_ depraved," his master replied, turning his head and giving Sebastian a nice, long (well deserved) kiss, but pulled away (a bit _too_ quickly), back to looking over his stolen films. "Which did you want to watch first?"

Sebastian lounged back on the sofa, watching his master watch him from the corner of his eyes. The little demon would feign disinterest, he liked it when Sebastian asked for it. "Let's watch the one about the fellow who only murders young people having sex, I rather admire his dedication to such a peculiar cause."

"Really? And here I was thinking you thought all the plots were rubbish," his master said, a seemingly innocent statement. But Sebastian heard how his voice was just a fraction lower, and noticed how he licked his own lips (like one of the many big, wild cats did, while stalking prey).

"They _are_ all rubbish, but I'd like to test the theory."

"Theory?"

"Yes, it's Halloween, and we at least _look_ like young people, so suppose we have sex, just to see if Paul, or whatever his name is, shows up."

"It's Micheal, not Paul, and he lives in the 'States, so no matter how much other people shagging enrages him I doubt he'll come all the way here to put a stop to it."

"It can't hurt to try."

The younger demon bit his lip, trying not to laugh. "That's a rather lame excuse, even for you."

"I'd come up with something more clever or complicated but you were going to say yes either way, what with the way you've been undressing me with your eyes for the last few minutes," Sebastian smirked.

"And next you'll tell me that my imagination doesn't do you justice."

"Do you want to banter or watch the film?"

There was a couple of seconds of a pause, his master most likely considering dragging it out longer (another habit of cats, playing with their food), but then the younger demon was up, putting the movie in the VCR, then back to (on) Sebastian just as quickly.

His master was wearing a button up shirt, so it came off without disturbing his little red horns, Sebastian had a pullover on though, his angel halo getting lost wherever his top got thrown. The older demon had remained seated, his master straddling him, though Sebastian soon found himself sliding down the sofa, letting his rear hang off the cushions for a better angle. Gripping the back of the couch with both hands, the younger demon set a harsh pace (as he preferred), and if Sebastian hadn't known prior he couldn't have told you what film was on, his master's heavy breathing and moaning filling his ears pleasantly.

"... Master ... I don't suppose I could trouble you for a kiss?" Sebastian asked huskily, not able to reach the younger demon with the way he was sitting.

"You're positively-" His master cut himself off with a breathy groan, Sebastian had allowed himself to slide down so that he could put his feet flat on the floor, letting him push his hips up to meet the other demon. "-the _worst_ devil-"

Leaning down (but never stopping) his master kissed him, messy and urgent, but broke away, back arching as one movement (a firm, simultaneous pulling of little hips while pushing of his own) on Sebastian's part went particularly right. "Ah- Sebastian-"

_ding dong_

Both demons froze, breathless and confused for a moment.

"Was that ..?" his master frowned.

"... the doorbell?" Sebastian finished.

_ding dong _

His master snapped his head from looking toward the hallway, glaring and growling. "Did you leave the bloody porch light on? You know if the light's on that means we're accepting trick-or-treaters!"

"I didn't!" Sebastian protested. "You'd rather let a child starve than share your candy-"

"Oh shut up, no I wouldn't-"

_ding dong_

"Little bastards," his master hissed. "We aren't home!"

"They'll go away eventually," Sebastian said, perhaps just a tiny bit desperately, very aware that something like this could ruin the mood. He rubbed at his master's waist with his thumbs and gave a very gentle roll of his hips, murmuring: "Just ignore them."

"Hmm," the younger hummed, his agitated expression melting away and replaced with rekindled interest.

They started back up again, slower and more sensual this time, his master taking the time to kiss him now. Instead of holding the back of the sofa, the younger demon wrapped his arms around Sebastian's neck, pulling him into an upright position.

"Turn around," Sebastian husked, licking his dry lips.

"Sod off," his master frowned, flushed all over.

Tisking, he lifted the younger demon, pressing him against the back of the couch, Sebastian keeping his right foot on the floor and putting his left knee on the seat of the sofa. His master moaned appreciatively when Sebastian released him, gravity sliding the other demon down a bit and consequently sliding Sebastian _in_ a bit ... more. His master leaned his head back over the top of the couch and Sebastian bit at his neck, enticing him back to the more urgent speed they'd been at before.

At some point his master put the little devil horns onto Sebastian's head, he only noticed after the fact though, since whenever the younger demon pulled harshly at Sebastian's hair he could feel the headband becoming askew.

Soon his master was all low commands of "harder", "faster", "more", and the rare yet intoxicating "please", making Sebastian drag his teeth across the other demon's lips, then their sweaty foreheads were pressed together and the couch had somehow gotten scooted all the way against the wall, and his master was saying his name and-

_splat_

Sebastian looked up, dazed, as egg white, yolk, and pieces of broken shell ran slowly down the outside of the window that was on the wall behind the couch. In fact, if he hadn't been looking down at his master at the time he might have been quite startled when the egg hit, seeing as how his nose wasn't even a foot away from the glass of the window.

"_Sebastian_," the younger demon growled, hot and bothered underneath him, not knowing why Sebastian had stopped suddenly.

"I apologize, it appears we're being egged," Sebastian shrugged.

His master's eyes flashed their demonic red, and Sebastian winced as sharper than normal black nails dug into his shoulders. "I don't care if we're being bombed, stop again and I'll beat you within an inch of your life."

"You're so sexy when you give death threats - ah, _Ciel_-" The younger demon had hooked his ankles together behind Sebastian's back and pulled him down hard and unexpectedly.

"T-There, don't-"

Sebastian covered his master's mouth with his own, after the initial sloppy meeting of tongues they took turns biting and chewing on each other, Sebastian sucking greedily when he managed to draw blood.

"Sebastian-"

The older demon was concentrating hard (laugh at the phrasing if you want), trying to wait out his master. Nothing felt better to him than finishing as the younger demon did (he got so much hotter and tighter and ... it was wonderful). But his master had to be close, he was scratching at Sebastian's forearms (he always starting clawing near the end) and he was saying Sebastian's name over and over and licking any part of the older demon he could reach and-

"Look, there's gotta be someone home, I can see the light from the telly."

Sebastian nearly broke his neck looking up. They didn't have curtains and his better than average hearing could pick up the crunching of dead leaves as two pairs of foot steps approached the window. The only light in the room was from the television but that didn't really matter when they were practically having sex against the damn window.

They needed to move, or lay down, or something to get out of the line of sight of what were probably the nasty children that had thrown the egg.

But as Sebastian paused for just the tiniest second, a white hot pain pierced through his left hand and up his arm. Groaning in a very confusing mix of pleasure, pain, and annoyance, Sebastian continued pushing into his master, realizing that the younger demon had either accidentally or purposefully _ordered _him not to stop.

"M-Master-" Sebastian stuttered, trying to warn him, having difficulty forming an intelligible sentence as he was still in the middle of sexing the younger demon. But his master was too far gone to notice the approaching humans, humming as he bit Sebastian's arm, and running tiny, dangerous finger nails down the older demon's chest.

"So they're home and didn't come to the door? Stingy assholes! Here, gimme that stick there, I'm gonna smash a hole right in their window!"

They were getting closer.

"Hah ... Sebastian-"

He was getting closer.

"Back up so you don't get glass on ya."

"Wait, is someone lookin' out at us?"

Being a demon, Sebastian was able to make out the two children plain as day (it was night time by now), they still couldn't see him clearly though, probably only seeing a dark silhouette moving, so kept approaching, more than likely wondering why someone would be rocking back and forth in front of a window-

His concern was stopped short as he felt a certain bit of his anatomy getting squeezed harder than a moment ago. Sebastian's brain went delightfully blank as the little body beneath him arched up, trying to close any miniscule gap between them.

"Ah-"

"Lookit, it's some idiot wearing devil horns, what's he doin' just starin' out like that-"

Sebastian snarled, really, good and proper _snarling_, loud enough where the two children outside could hear him. Eyes turned to red, glowing slits, mouth filled with uneven, razor sharp fangs, and exuding a just plain _evil_ aura, Sebastian snarled (so good and proper and also terrifying, though perhaps being terrifying should be implied with snarls), and when he did he looked straight at the two horrified children, who immediately dropped both the stick they were going to use to vandalize his home and also their bags of candy, as they ran away shrieking.

Features fading back to their human facade, Sebastian looked down to his master (he had never stopped moving), ready to apologize for his outburst. To his surprise, the younger's body had mimicked him, his master's eyes holding their demonic shape, and little canines pointed.

"Do that again," the younger demon panted, body tensed like a bow and needing relief.

Sebastian complied, eyes red and teeth like a monster, moaning loudly as he ... put his back into it, so to speak, and finally-

Heat and pressure, little nails breaking skin after having been so careful up till now, his favorite voice in the whole world saying "yes, yes, Sebastian ... aaah ... yes-" and then the heat. And the pressure. And the hot, hot, hot, tight-

Sebastian leaned his head on his master's shoulder, breathing heavy and muscles twitching. His master, covered in sweat and other ... fluids, was panting under him, both of their eyes and teeth back to normal now.

"What ... were you doing ... when?" the younger questioned, frowning, probably trying to ask what had possessed (ha) Sebastian to turn feral in the middle of their love making.

Sebastian gestured weakly, then let his arm fall back down, not having the energy right then to explain about the unintended order he'd received, the miscreants going to smash their window, and how his master had nearly embarrassed Sebastian by being too damn sexy for him to last a decent amount of time.

Now that the two of them weren't preoccupied, Sebastian noticed that the film that had been playing the whole time was at the ending.

_"It _was_ the boogeyman."_

_"As a matter of fact, it was."_

Then the suspenseful piano score started.

And though no Michael or Paul, or _whoever_ had come to _murder_ them, the universe had certainly tried to muck everything up to hell and back as a consolation prize.

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_a/n: uploaded this early b/c of Halloween, everybody have fun and wear like reflective tape and stuff_


	9. Another Birthday

**Disclaimer: Kuro belongs to Yana Toboso!**

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******Another Birthday**

_**1955**_

"Why aren't you making a strawberry cake?"

"I don't like strawberry cake."

"You don't like _any_ cake ..."

"I find darker colors more pleasing to look at, and it is _my_ birthday cake."

"That you aren't going to eat-" Ciel was silenced when Sebastian presented him with a single icing covered finger. The younger demon raised an eyebrow. "You want me to lick it off?"

"How else will I know if it's turning out all right?" Sebastian smiled innocently (not really).

Ciel rolled his eyes. "You could have used a spoon." But despite the protest he took Sebastian's finger into his mouth. "Besides," he said, licking his lips. "You don't need me to tell you about cooking, you know good and well it's perfect."

"Hmm," Sebastian hummed, letting his (now icing-less) finger linger for a bit on Ciel's lips. "It's important to get feedback ..."

"Sure it is," Ciel smirked.

Today was June sixth and, as per tradition, it was a day to celebrate Sebastian's (fake) birthday.

As a demon, and through the years, Ciel had found it in his heart (or lack there of) to enjoy holidays a bit more. Though his enjoyment was probably of the least merry or celebratory variety. He liked to spend Halloween holed up indoors with a small mountain of candy, Christmas was solely spent making elaborate pine cones covered in bird seed he'd hang from the trees outside (while also devouring Father Christmas shaped cookies), and Valentine's Day wasn't so much celebrated as the day after was (when all the chocolate at the shops went on sale).

Basically Ciel's version of celebrating holidays were a diabetic's nightmare. If he were human he'd probably be dead already, or just very very _rotund_.

Now that it was just the two of them they could skip Ciel's birthday all together, which was what Ciel preferred. And though Sebastian's "birthday" had initially started as a means to annoy a demon who was obsessed with keeping a smooth running manor, it had now turned into a kind of birthday away from birthday for the both of them. Sebastian made any cake of his choosing (and attempted to coerce the younger demon into eating said cake in ways unintended by the inventors of the pastry) and Ciel enjoyed it without any of the annoyances of his own birthday (like receiving gifts, being the center of attention, or, worst of all, _parties_).

This was the first year Sebastian was able to make whatever he wanted without the restrictions of rations that had continued after the last war. Though the older demon had made it clear he didn't have any qualms about _taking_ what they'd needed (wanted) even during the rationing period. Ciel protested though, mainly due to wanting the two of them to stay incognito, so they wouldn't have to fake either of their deaths and have another bloody funeral ...

But the war and rationing were over, and Ciel was sitting happily on the counter in the kitchen, taking the time while Sebastian's hands were full to kick his legs back and forth. He caught the older demon scowling at him, seeming to try to work faster so he'd have a hand free to harass Ciel with.

"Why do you always make chocolate icing?" Ciel asked stilling his legs when Sebastian put down his whisk.

"Someone told me once that 'putting chocolate on _anything_ will make it taste better'," the older demon answered slyly, wiping his hands on a dish towel.

Ciel grimaced. "Don't quote me in that tone of voice, it makes me sound like some sort of deviant."

"You are a deviant." Sebastian leaned on the counter with his hands on either side of Ciel and gave little kisses to the (now trapped) younger demon.

"I don't think I was when I was ten," Ciel grumbled, turning his head strategically to prevent Sebastian from kissing him on the lips. He had to keep his demon focused on baking for the time being. Since cakes were of no consequence to Sebastian letting them burn in the oven in favor of ... other activities ... was something he'd done several times.

"But when you were fourteen~"

"Now who's a deviant? I hope you don't talk like that to anyone else-"

"Who else do I talk to?" Sebastian chuckled, kissing Ciel on the tip of his nose. "But if I did I'd gladly regale them with tales of your young misadventures in the bedroom."

"They call people like you the dregs of humanity," Ciel deadpanned, wanting to roll his eyes again at the harsh contradiction between Sebastian's tender actions while talking about sleeping with a teenager.

"Good thing I'm not a human," was Sebastian's easy reply. He brushed their noses together, giving the younger demon a long, _suggestive_ stare as he spoke. "Would you have rather I spurned your advances?"

Ciel bristled at the truth and turned purposely away. "Do you smell burning? Shouldn't you check on the cake?"

"Not for another thirty minutes or so, are you trying to change the subject?" When he'd turned his head to the side he'd left his neck open to attack (if you'd call it attacking) and Sebastian was kissing it now.

"I'll be eighty years old this year," Ciel said, ignoring his demon the best he could when all the kissing was making his face color. "How old does that make you?"

"Still too old for you," Sebastian sighed, standing up straight and leaving the younger demon alone and moving to clean up the dishes he wasn't using anymore instead.

"Methuselah."

"If I remember correctly he was only a thousand years old."

"_Only_." Ciel scoffed. "Are you sure you aren't a bit dim? For a demon I mean, seeing as how you seem to be perfectly content bickering with me when I was a human?"

Sebastian turned, soapy water almost up to his elbows, frowning. "What are you implying?"

"Just that you're so _ancient_," Ciel drawled, grinning just a bit. "Surely you used that time to become more clever than a human, or maybe you were more clever by design ... what I mean to say is, you enjoy consorting with humans so much, maybe you're a bit slow for a demon."

Sebastian only shook his head, chuckling and turning back to the dishes. "Remind me, is consort the dancing and flailing around one?"

"That's _cavort_," Ciel grumbled, irritated that Sebastian _wasn't_ irritated.

"I thought a consort was like a prostitute? But I suppose that's a bit accurate with a demon's contract ... especially _yours_-"

"Oh shut it, I never ordered you to do anything like that-"

"No, but you did _strongly recommend_ it-"

"And what about you compelling me? You most definitely _did_ do that-"

"Because you _asked_ me to-"

"Being the party who's supposed to be more mature shouldn't you have said no?"

"If you remember correctly I did _try_-"

"Once! You barely gave it any effort!"

"Keep being so nasty and argumentative on my birthday and I'll compel you right now to sit quietly for the rest of the day," Sebastian sighed.

Ciel had finally worked him into at least slight aggravation. But like any other time when the two of them started going at each other, Ciel couldn't seem to quit while he was ahead. Getting into fights for the younger demon was much like running down a steep hill, at first you're running because you want to, but pretty soon the momentum has you and you either keep going and try to keep your legs under you, or fall face first in the dirt.

"Yes because sitting quietly is all you'd want me to do, pervert," Ciel snorted. He stiffened, wishing as soon as he'd said it that he could take it back.

The older demon turned around again, wearing (what Ciel saw as) a very sinister grin. "Oh my," Sebastian murmured. The younger demon had no idea how Sebastian managed to slowly walk towards him, drying dish water from his hands and clad in a light pink apron, while also exuding an air of ... _seduction_. It was a talent, Ciel would have to give him that. The older demon had made his way across the kitchen (how on Earth does someone just walking across a kitchen get other's hot and bothered?) and stood right in front of Ciel, between his legs. "And what did you have in mind?"

Ciel pursed his lips as he looked up at his demon, annoyed at the hole he'd dug himself into. "_I_ didn't have anything in mind, I was saying _you_ undoubtedly did."

"I have been baking with only the most wholesome of thoughts till your suggestion."

"I didn't suggest anything."

"I seem to recall you wanting to be compelled for my birthday present."

"You're reaching Sebastian." He just needed to keep his demon on track till the cake was finished, then he'd give in and they could spend the entire day in bed for all he cared (if Ciel had nothing he at least had priorities).

"_**Kiss me**_." Sebastian commanded suddenly. Since Ciel had been turned into a demon, being compelled by another demon was supposed to be completely ineffective, but among the many tests he and Sebastian had gone through in the earlier days (and when they were bored) they'd found that he was still slightly susceptible. He couldn't be made to do anything complicated or dangerous, but something simple like "hand me that book" still worked, though even as his body followed the command his mind could still function separately, and be right pissed about it. Which was exactly what happened now.

"Bastard," Ciel growled, as his arms wrapped themselves around Sebastian's neck and pulled him into a kiss. The older demon hummed appreciatively at the contact, meeting him with enthusiasm. A familiar, warm relief flooded Ciel's body at obeying the command and every second that their lips stayed connected only intensified the feeling. Though you couldn't tell by his face, which was set in a deep frown as he concentrated on getting control of his jaw so he could bite Sebastian.

The older demon broke the deep kiss (but continued leaving little pecks on Ciel's lips). "Aren't you the sweet thing," he purred.

"Do that again without my permission and I'll make your life a living hell," Ciel snapped. He was angry because even though Sebastian had compelled him to kiss him, he couldn't compel him to get worked up over it (which, after all the abstaining today, he _was_).

"I take it back, you're still a nasty little toad," Sebastian replied flatly.

"You must _really_ hate sleeping with me."

"Oh no, I very much enjoy it, it's all the lip I could do without."

"And here I thought you liked my lips in particular."

"Young Master," Sebastian started exasperatedly. "As much as I usually enjoy our bantering, I have to confess that your mood swings are so abrupt today I'm not entirely sure if you're denying me or baiting me."

Ciel huffed angrily, pushing Sebastian away and sliding off the counter. "Would you just turn the bloody oven off then and come on?"

The older demon only hesitated for a fraction of a second before realization dawned on him. The oven was switched off and he had Ciel up in his arms in a shorter time than most people blinked. Ciel kissed his demon (of his own volition) hungrily and started dragging Sebastian's shirt up over his head. Sebastian was more skilled because Ciel didn't realize his pants were off till Sebastian was already caressing his thigh. They stumbled, connected by wandering lips and hands, towards the bedroom.

And, to their credit, they made it to the hallway.

**xox**

"I can't remember the last time I've had something this good," Ciel moaned.

"... You _are_ talking about the cake?"

"Of course! It's amazing." To perhaps emphasize his point he licked the fork clean between each mouth full.

"Don't frighten me like that," Sebastian sighed.

The two of them probably looked like a Renaissance painting of Greek mythology, lying naked as they were surrounded by blankets and pillows while eating sweets. The embodiment of decadence.

"Oh poor you," Ciel drawled, offering Sebastian a bit of icing on his finger. "Whatever would you do were your _skills_ questioned?"

"Well," Sebastian paused to lick (and suck) Ciel's finger (the older demon may not have liked human food but if he was eating it off Ciel it suddenly became far less unappetizing). "Since it's completely obvious that you only care for me because of those skills-"

"Yes, I'm a heartless monster, I take advantage of poor, lovestruck demons-"

"On their birthday no less, have you any shame?"

"Not the least bit," Ciel replied, smiling as he leaned over and kissed his poor, lovestruck demon. "Though if your performance in bed deteriorates I may keep you around for your cooking."

"Thank goodness," Sebastian breathed in (over dramatic) relief. "I'm so thankful I have these few things to offer what with my personality being so worthless."

"Hmm, that's true, so very dull at parties."

"Because we attend _so_ many parties."

"This is a birthday party?"

"You seemed to be having a wonderful time just a bit ago ..."

"But remember that was because of your sexual prowess, not conversation skills." Ciel presented another finger with frosting on it.

"Damn, I'm utterly useless." Sebastian cleaned the new finger, kissing the tip of it after he was done.

"But really, happy birthday," Ciel murmured, looking at the older demon levelly for just a moment before going back to his cake.

Even out of the corner of his eye he could see the grin spread on Sebastian's face before he began pressing his lips against Ciel's shoulder. "For someone who hates his own actual birthday, you certainly take my pretend one awfully seriously."

Ciel became increasingly interested in moving the bits of cake left around on his plate as Sebastian kissed him on any bit of skin he could reach all while softly whispering affectionate nonsense.

It was hard for the younger demon to put into words his reasoning. Despite Sebastian's birthday not being technically real, it was Ciel's favorite day of the year, how could it _not_ be? A day to celebrate the person (demon, rather) that he cared about more than anyone or anything else in the world.

He just didn't have it in him at the time to say that sort of thing out loud.

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_a/n: can't believe it's been a whole year. thanks so much for the reviews, favs, and alerts, yall are awesome _


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